Como Te Llamas.

So apparently a decade ends tonight. That felt strange to type. Having entered the 2000′s at age 13, leaving them at age 23, it’s safe to say that this decade will be the one that contained the most “growing up.” Although I don’t know that I’ll ever truly “grow up” its food for thought if nothing else. I distinctly remember ringing in the year 2000 at my Aunt Connie’s house, wearing those stupid ass 2000 glasses, and a North Carolina football jersey, thinking it was cool that my mom let me have a single shot of peach schnapps or something for New Years. Tonight I will be attending the Red Wing’s game with Emily, and perhaps having a drink or two after the game. It’s crazy to think about everything that has happened between these two nights. Definitely some life defining moments as well as lessons. Of course, its impossible to list all the significant things that have happened to me over the past ten years. I have earned a high school diploma as well as a college degree, I have lived in 2 states, 3 homes. I’ve experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows, at least as those phrases pertain to my life.

It’s wild to think about friends gained and lost this decade, as well as family that has passed, r.i.p. Grandma and Aunt Carrie. All of the lives that have been touched or touched my own over the past 10 years is quite astonishing. The end of the year always provides for a time of reflection on the events of the past calendar year, the end of a decade even more so. Personal triumphs, regrets, and memories.

Strange to think that after all this, these past 10 years, I still don’t know exactly where I stand with a lot of things. For example, I imagine that 13 year old me would expect that by age 23 I would know what I wanted to do with my life. As far as this is concerned, I sometimes feel as if some aspects of life are passing me by. What I need to do and what I actually accomplish are very rarely identical. Yes, I have only been out of college for a year, and yes I spent 6 months of that year with an actual “career building” job, but obviously that venture failed, and now I’m exactly where I was a year ago in regards to employment. I can hear Dan in my ear telling me I need to write a book. Facing facts, I need to write….something….anything productive. It really doesn’t matter what it is anymore as long as its good, and no doubt it will be. Sidebar: the album “Swoon” by the Silversun Pickups is absolute genius, and I’m not even talking about the lyrics, because I don’t know half of them, just the sound is incredible to just sit and listen to, as I am now. This album almost brings me to tears. I digress.

Moving on, at this point I do believe I have one aspect of life locked down. I honestly cannot remember a time in my life, this decade, or the previous 13 years, where I have been happier. Sure there are setbacks to my current happiness, my mom’s recent surgical procedure being one of them, but as a whole, all things considered, I have never been happier. Really I cannot even describe it, but I can try. It’s really special knowing that it’s possible for someone to care about you as much as you care about them. I never thought I would see the day when I could simply lay with another and look into their eyes and be perfectly content doing this for an extended period of time. It’s really a phenomenal feeling.

Ok I’m exhausted now, and am going to bed.